Feelings can grow and fade. If you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are that you’ll want to fall deeper in love as time goes on. But is that possible? Can love really keep improving, even after years of being together?
It can be saddening to hear of couples who “fall out of love” with each other. You may worry that all relationships are doomed to follow that same path. You may worry that you and your partner will not last as long as you want to.
The good news is that love in relationships is something that fades when you stop working on it. Essentially, as long as you keep prioritizing your relationship and working to improve on it, your love will develop and grow.
But how can you do this? How can you ensure that you and your partner continue to become stronger together?
SCIENCE EXPLAINS 11 WAYS TO FALL DEEPER IN LOVE WITH YOUR PARTNER
1. GIVE AND PAY ATTENTION
Life gets hectic and busy, and you can become so absorbed in work that you neglect your partner. This is a huge no-no. You need to prioritize your relationship in order to continue to grow your love.
Building regular connections with your partner is crucial to helping the love last, and you can’t do them without paying attention to them. Here’s how you can do so!
- Ask about your partner’s day.
- Cuddle with them for a short while.
- Give them a heartfelt compliment.
- Give them a subtle message of support.
- Make them coffee or tea.
- Listen to them.
Though these might seem like small efforts, they make all the difference in one’s busy lifestyle. Trust us, your partner will notice these small, sweet gestures and will appreciate them immensely.
2. SPEND TIME TOGETHER
When was the last time you set aside time specifically to spend with your partner? Clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., states that doing things together involving only the two of you is very important. It creates unique moments that you can share and hold onto, thus helping to nurture your bond.
Relationships always need regular nurturing. Here are some ways to allocate quality time to your partner.
- Schedule a date night and follow through.
- Have a lovely home-cooked dinner.
- Go for a walk together.
- Plan a short holiday when you next have the time.
- Cuddle in front of a TV and catch up on shows.
- Just hang out.
Studies have shown that married couples who continue to have dates between once and thrice a week feel more satisfied in their relationships, thus reducing the likelihood of divorce significantly and enjoying a more positive love life.
Many long-term relationships begin to die out the more busy each person gets, as they stop being able to truly make time for the other easily. Making the effort to plan and spend time with your partner can save the relationship as a whole.
3. BE GRATEFUL
Taking your partner for granted is a one-way ticket to losing them. That’s why it is so important to be grateful and appreciative of them and all that they do.
The worst thing you can find yourself saying on special occasions is “I know I don’t say this enough, but…” Sure, it sounds like a sweet sentiment, but why haven’t you been saying it? Appreciation shouldn’t be reserved for anniversaries and birthdays – it should be practiced daily.
Learn to be grateful and practice positive thinking regarding your partner every day. Here are some ways you can do so.
- Compliment your partner regularly.
- Thank them for every nice thing that they do.
- Go out of your way to do nice things for them.
- Keep a gratitude journal and log the sweet, loving gestures your partner performs.
Not sure where to start with your gratitude? Here are some suggestions that you may be overlooking.
- The household chores your partner does
- Your partner making you food or drinks
- Your partner giving you quiet space for days so you can focus on work
- The hard work your partner does to put food on the table
- Your partner loving you and caring for you
- Your partner knowing just how to cheer you up
4. FACE PROBLEMS TOGETHER
You’ll deal with a lot of problems during your lifetime. It can be tempting to deal with them on your own and leave your partner out of it, but this type of isolating behavior is endlessly harmful to otherwise healthy relationships.
Ask your partner for opinions, advice, or even just support. Treat them like you can count on them, because you can, and you’ll learn a lot of things about them that make you fall even more in love with them.
This also applies to problems that affect both of you, like serious arguments and fights. Remember that you should always treat fights as both of you versus the issue, not one person versus the other. A couple that works on resolving arguments healthily stays together!
5. MAKE MORE PHYSICAL CONTACT
Taking time to cuddle, hold hands, or just engage in more physical contact is great for any relationship. It helps strengthen bonds and can provide a closeness that never fails to give your love a boost.
When you touch a partner lovingly, even if it’s just to hug, your brain produces oxytocin; this feel-good neurotransmitter boosts your positive thinking and makes you feel great. On top of that, it’s a bonding hormone that helps you feel closer to the other person and increases feelings of trust between you.
6. FIND NEW EXPERIENCES
Adventures bring people closer together. They’re fun, they’re brand new, and they can teach you more about the other person along the way.
According to dating expert and relationship expert Jonathan Bennett, it has been scientifically proven that trying new things, especially exciting ones, can help you feel more satisfied in your relationship. Here are some ideas to try out!
- Go on a day trip to somewhere new.
- Try an adrenaline-pumping activity, like skydiving, together.
- Do a new type of date. (Museum date? Amusement park date? Concert date? Massage date?)
- Play new games.
- Take a class together.
7. LISTEN AND EMPATHIZE
It’s very easy to only see the world through your own perspective. But your partner is a separate, whole person with their own lens and way of looking at life. That’s why learning to put aside your opinions to truly listen to your partner is such a positive habit.
When your partner has a complaint, try to listen to them and see where they are coming from. Validate their feelings and work on empathizing with them. If you put effort into this, you’ll be able to show more care towards your partner, and you’ll also be able to understand their moods and thoughts much more easily.
8. MAKE MORE EYE CONTACT
The thought of staring into your partner’s eyes might sound silly, but it’s a very important part of maintaining and growing love. In fact, science has proven that is has a positive effect on passion and love levels in couples.
Try holding eye contact for extended periods of time. Gaze into each other’s eyes and hold a conversation, or just say nothing. It can feel funny at first, but you’ll be surprised by how much closer you feel after it’s done!
9. DO MORE NICE THINGS
Many relationships lose their sense of romance as time goes on. Don’t let that happen to you! Keeping adorable romance alive can be as simple as continuing the random, sweet, thoughtful things you did when you were still courting your partner, such as:
- Writing sweet notes
- Surprising them with gifts
- Planning a surprise dinner or date
- Giving a massage
10. UNDERSTAND THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE
Love languages refer to ways that people like to receive love the most. It’s usually also the way they show love. A discrepancy in love languages without understanding them can lead to a lack of fulfillment in relationships.
There are five love languages, which are:
- Gifts – giving and receiving presents
- Words of affirmation – compliments, verbal support, and more
- Acts of service – helping with chores, whittling down a to-do list, running errands for the other person
- Quality time – spending time together, going on dates, and more
- Physical touch – intimacy, kissing, holding hands, and more
As an example, if your love language is quality time, you might believe that putting aside work to hang out with your partner is enough. But if their love language is acts of service, they might feel like you aren’t doing anything romantic and therefore don’t love them as much as you used to!
Talking about your love languages and catering to each other’s is a great way to fall deeper in love with your partner. Make sure you understand how they like to receive love and that they know your preferences, too.
11. LEARN MORE ABOUT EACH OTHER
No matter how long you’ve been with someone, you can continue to learn more about them every single day.Don’t lose your sense of curiosity about your partner. Ask them questions, show an active interest in their hobbies, and keep up with their ever-changing dreams and goals.
Human beings develop and change over time. Don’t assume your partner will always be the same person they were when you met them. Continuing to learn about them as the years go by will prevent a sudden shock that is sure to come if you haven’t been keeping up to date on their personal selves!
FINAL THOUGHTS ON SOME WAYS TO FALL DEEPER IN LOVE WITH YOUR PARTNER ACCORDING TO SCIENCE
No one goes into a relationship expecting it to end. For the most part, when someone starts dating another person, they want that partnership to last. If you’ve been dating someone for a good long while or are even married to them, chances are that you want to be in it for the long run.
A successful, positive relationship requires effort from all parties. You, alone, cannot make love grow if your partner doesn’t put in equal effort. As such, when you’re performing these 11 ways to fall deeper in love with your partner, make sure it’s not one-sided! All members of a relationship must be interested in growing their love in order for it to work.
At the end of the day, falling more and more in love with your partner is all about continuing healthy habits, avoiding toxic ones, and making sure neither of you falls complacent. By continuing to work on your relationship and togetherness, you’ll always find new things to fall in love with!