Are you tortured by ill-fitting jeans? Do red marks, gaping zippers, torn seams, and terrible silhouettes terrorize your days? All you want to do is learn how to find the perfect jeans, but you can’t stop populating your closet with punishment pants. Before you can find the best jeans ever, you have to part ways with what is not working. Life is about growth and change! Included under that spiritual umbrella is (obviously) the evolution cycle of what cut of denim looks good on you.
There is excessive pulling at the crotch
You know those annoying lines you get at the crotch? It means you have to go up a size and get the waist tailored. Also, it might mean that the rise of the jeans is too large. Anyway, go for a lower rise jean style and you’ll look perfect.
They Give You Pucker Butt
Sweetheart, you have a glorious ass. Please do not do it the disservice of wearing denim that clings upward and inward. Have an honest look in the mirror and if a Nacho Libre moment happens: burn. the. pants.
They’re Too Damn Short
Cropped jeans with heels are so sexy! Pants that are too short with any kind of shoes? Super bummer. If they’re not cropped to the ankle or else fail to cover your heel, leave them in the dust.
They’re too tight on the butt
If they really fit you, the fabric won’t cling upward or inward. Look at yourself in the mirror and make sure the fabric and the style accommodate your body shape.
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The zipper takes too much of your time
If you can’t get your jeans on and the zipper up after sucking it in, I’m sorry. You probably need to give them up.
They’re Sloppily Big
Having a little boyfriend swagger in your jeans is super cute. But if you can pull your pants right off, no zipper required, they’re probably a bit too big, honey.
You’ve Got Crotch Creases
Diagonal tension marks radiating from the crotch of your denim is never a good sign. Please let them go.
They’re Baggy In The Knees
There is nothing more sad (nothing!) than skinny jeans with baggy knees. The waist fits perfectly, the color is divine, but it looks like you’re packing pumpkins down there. I know. It’s hard. You’re gonna have to retire them.
Your Seams Are About To Burst
The crotch fabric doesn’t stay in place
It’s important to notice where the fabric sits on your body. The crotch fabric shouldn’t be so low that they look like harem pants.
They might be too short for you
Cropped jeans are great when you compare them with a pair of heels. However, if they are far above your ankle or if they don’t even cover the top of your heels, it’s time to let them go.
They’ve Got A Rolling Waistband
Ugh. So uncomfortable. We shouldn’t even be having this talk. You’re a smart woman and deserve to be comfortable. Get those stomach punishing pants out of your life immediately.
They might be too long for you
And here comes the opposite problem. You will know it if they bunch up with all the extra fabric near your ankles.
You can’t bend over or sit comfortably in them
Whatever feels uncomfortable is crap, I’m telling you.