Spoiler: 12 men’s secret wishes that women must know

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Rare is the man who demands acrobatic porno stunts and a closet filled with ball gags and leather whips. Sure, those men exist, and if that’s your cup of kink, go for it. But the truth is, most guys are a little more predictable in their bedroom proclivities. We just want a s3x life that’s a little spicy, a little sweet, and still occasionally surprising. Easy enough, right? Sure it is! To make the bedroom a sexual sanctuary, here are the things dudes desire most.

1. Don’t be weak: When things get tough try to be emotionally strong. Sure, your man wants to take care of you and support you, but not to the point that he’s nothing but a babysitter! Besides, when you do get upset he’ll take you A LOT more seriously if you’re not crying all time.

2. Use your hands more: A lot of men want women to be more physically active in bed — starting with the hands.

3. Love your own body: Men want you to feel more comfortable with your body. “They don’t like it when women put themselves down, or make negative comments.” It’s a turn-off. But what if that’s how you really feel? Practice acting as-if. Tell yourself you’re hot stuff the way you are.

4. Do things he likes with pleasure: This will not only make him feel good physically, but he’ll feel even better overall when he notices that you like to do the things that he really likes, even if it’s just for him. He wants you to want to please him. Any kind of sigh or lack of enthusiasm can break apart the image he could potentially have about you.

5. Take responsibility for your pleasure: Men don’t want to be solely responsible for your pleasure. You need to do your own homework. “Women need to take responsibility through masturbation to figure out what they want so they can show their husband what turns them on,” Michaels says. Don’t make him fumble on his own.

6. Be responsive both with your body and verbally. A woman who isn’t a dead lay. Let him know you are aroused by the way you move or the things that you say.

7. Men expect respect: One of the most important things for a man is respect. Men want you to respect his size, they want you to respect their prowess, they want you to respect their body type, their build, their strength, and their demeanor. They want total respect or even reverence in the bedroom. If he thinks you find his size questionable, it will never stop bothering him. He might be able to be content still, but deep down he’ll assume that you aren’t fully satisfied. Preventing this is essential to give him everything that he really wants in the bedroom.

8. Tell him what to do. Guys and girls are different and sometimes guys need to hear what you want. It’s o.k. to shout out loud, “hey – put your tongue on this!” It actually helps everyone!

9. Experiment, experiment, experiment. It is this area ladies that most men have us beat. Men love to experiment. It is rare to find a man who wants to make love the same way every time.

10. Men want it to last longer. Since guys love getting intimate so much, it’s no surprise that they want to have longer sessions. Quickies are convenient and sometimes thrilling, but if the s3x is really good, they’ll want to cherish it by making it last. That said, long should not be too long. He probably won’t want to do a two-hour long epic every time that you get under the covers. Long lasting sessions are great, but it’s good to mix it up sometimes. He might also prefer two or few shorter instances over one long one.

11. Be open-minded. Adventurous. Willing to at least try something new.

12. Sleeping on his chest. Men love it when they feel like they’re protecting you. And believe it or not, they do like a cuddle!

How to find out what men really want in bed?

  • There are two ways of doing this, asking and attempting. If you ask, you will probably get an honest answer, but there’s more to it. You can find out what he really wants by trying things on him and paying attention to his reaction.
  • You might even be able to show him things that he’s never quite done before that he loves. Experimenting should provide you with all of the answers you need without ever having to ask.
  • When trying things out this way, you should make sure that he isn’t going to completely play along and pretend that he likes it all.
  • You should be able to tell the difference either way between what he actually enjoys and doesn’t care too much for. Or, you could always ask.
  • These are just some of the main things that men really want in bed. Communicating with your partner openly is always going to be the best way to find out what he wants most.
  • Making him feel like it’s okay to let you know is your responsibility.
  • He’ll also want to know what you really want in bed, and after seeing your attitude toward wanting to make him feel good, he’ll probably be committed to doing the same for you in return.