As humans, it is natural for us to seek a loving partner to share our life with. This isn’t always easy. You may find yourself in a bad relationship at a certain point in life. There are many ways to evaluate whether your relationship is healthy. Think about your interactions with your partner. Notice how you feel in front of your partner. If you don’t feel relaxed, uplifted, and supported by this person, it may not be a good relationship. Take note of your stress level. You may feel drained a lot. If you realize you’re in a negative relationship, take steps to leave. Seek out the support of friends and family members along the way.
1. Phone checking-up
If you, or the one you love, are always thinking of worst case scenarios, your relationship can become unstable. Why always go for worst case scenario? Why violate the one you loves privacy and read their texts, emails and everything else to ease the fearful thoughts you keep making up in your head? If you constantly worry about what they are up and keep yourself in a negative mind-set, how can the relationship ever really be stable? Your mind won’t allow it to be, even if reality is showing you there is nothing to prove your theories.
Think about how often you’re criticized. Everyone has areas they need to improve upon. You may have bad habits that annoy your partner. However, there’s a difference between expressing irritation and being outright critical. An overly critical, even mean, partner is a sign you’re not in a good relationship.
- Does your partner frequently put you down? Are you mocked for your intelligence, personality, or physical appearance? Do you feel like you can’t do anything right?
- Your partner may, for example, say something like, “God, I knew you’d screw that up. You’re so bad at these things” when you get directions wrong. You may hear these comments a lot throughout the day.
3. Family’s interference
Overly involved extended family. Parents, siblings, or other relatives who become too involved in a couple’s lives can drive a wedge between them. If one partner doesn’t set appropriate boundaries with his or her family, the other partner will grow resentful and feel like they are no longer the priority.
4. You feel powerless
One person has most of the power over the two of you. Does your loved one have too much power over you, aside from the power of love? A sure sign of unhealthiness is when someone has more power over you than you have over yourself. Remember—no one has power over you unless you give it to them!
5. Wrongful blame
If your partner lays all responsibility on you for whatever goes wrong, you are probably in an unhealthy relationship. Whether he physically hurts you or threatens to and then turns around and says you asked for it, he is putting the blame on you for his problems. Accusing you of being the cause of being overlooked for a promotion, making mistakes or doing anything that doesn’t get desired results is unhealthy.
6. Poor money skills or values
When one partner is financially irresponsible or has poor financial skills, it will eventually cause resentment, stress, and anger for the other partner. Money is a major source of conflict between couples even when both people are relatively responsible. When the financial relationship is unbalanced, it profoundly impacts respect and trust between the couple.
Although our lovely media have made you believe lying is normal for men and women, it’s not normal for a healthy relationship. The most important thing that needs to be in place in order to have a real, deep and meaningful relationship with someone else is trust. If you can’t tell someone the truth and are constantly finding ways to avoid being in trouble, or avoid confrontation, then you should reconsider what you are doing.
If you can’t be yourself or you can’t do things you want to do because it will hurt the other person, maybe you should find someone else who will appreciate you for you or not be in a relationship at all. If you are being lied to or you are constantly lying to someone else to maintain peace, it’s time to stop deceiving yourself and end your relationship. If you can’t be honest with yourself; there is no way you can be honest with anyone else.
I could keep going on with signs of when to leave, but I think these 7 cover the most important ones. These are only guidelines of when I think you should leave your relationship, and by no means are these laws. We are not all the same, nor are all of us in the same exact situations, but we must be wise and careful with our tolerance. We need the know the difference between forgiveness and weakness.
Sometimes the situation does dictate and people can choose how they want to handle their relationships. I have seen people get cheated on and actually become a stronger couple, but common sense would tell you if your partner doesn’t stop doing you wrong, then it’s probably wise to move on.