Things You Should Never Say “I’m Sorry” For

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Unless you’re perfect (and we certainly aren’t!), apologies are a necessary part of life. And those two little words—“I’m sorry”—are quite powerful. Saying them releases us from the guilt of having wronged someone; restores a sense of trust between the two parties; and helps us save face, appear more agreeable, and fortify our belief in our own moral goodness and likeability.
Whatever the situation, unnecessary self-criticism may be to blame, says Juliana Breines, Ph.D., a post-doctoral fellow at Brandeis University who studies self-compassion. “Over-apologizing can stem from being too hard on ourselves or beating ourselves up for things, rather than recognizing everyone makes mistakes and no one expects you to be perfect.” When people harbor feelings of shame and guilt, they may apologize to elicit reassurance from others, she adds—even if the person they’re saying sorry to hasn’t been harmed in the least by their behavior. The consequence? We risk reinforcing an erroneous belief that we’re inherently worthy of blame.

Kết quả hình ảnh cho Things To Never Say “I’m Sorry” For

This isn’t to knock the value of owning our errors and making amends if we’re obviously in the wrong. But oftentimes that’s not the case, yet we still utter, “I’m sorry.” If you can relate, listen up: There are absolutely better ways to dispel discomfort, remain likeable to other people, and express empathy in lieu of these two words. Next time you find yourself about to apologize for these seven things, stop (and try one of the alternative phrases if you can’t totally bite your tongue).

Making a positive change in your life or yourself.

Positive change should be rewarded, not punished. However, many people around you don’t want you to change, even if the change is clearly better for you. Good or bad, they want you to remain the same.

Kết quả hình ảnh cho positive change

Why? Because it is easier for them. They know what to expect from you. They know how to respond to you and what can be asked from you. You are predictable, and the boundaries between you and them are quite clear, even if they are not always fair for both parties.

Therefore, stand firm in your right to change. It is not only your responsibility, but it’s your right as well.

Yes, some people will have a hard time to adjusting to change, but they can adjust eventually if they are willing. You can feel sorry that you’ve upset them, but you don’t need to apologize for making change that is right for you.

 Leaving behind people who don’t allow you to change.

It is a big thing to ask someone to adjust to your life changes. However, those that stubbornly insist on keeping you tied to the status quo don’t deserve a place in your life.

Their anger, passive aggressive behaviors, or disappointment in you will only undermine your relationship and make you feel resentment.

Don’t apologize for letting go of people who are unwilling to bend with your changes. Move on, but leave your door open in case they have a change of heart in the future.

Just as you have grown and changed, they might also.

Being who you are.

Kết quả hình ảnh cho Being who you are.

To become the person you are today, you had to expend a lot of energy, hardship, work, passion, dedication, and love.

Who you are today rests on your past experiences, and some of those experiences may not reflect the best in you. We are all in the process of “becoming,” and part of that process means we make mistakes along the way.

You may not be the person you want to be right now, but that’s OK because you are a work in progress. You are fine just the way you are — even if you aren’t perfect.

You don’t need to apologize for who you are. Have compassion for who you are today, and allow yourself to be even better tomorrow.

Saying “No” to things that are harmful to you or your interests.

You are allowed to stand up for yourself. You can be assertive and say “No,” even if it offends other people.

You don’t have to follow along or accept a situation simply because someone wants you too — especially if your safety, well-being, or integrity might be jeopardized. Remember that you are the guardian of YOU.

It’s fine to say you’re sorry you’ve disappointed someone, but you never need to apologize for saying, “No.”

Being a good person doesn’t mean to give in every single time or to put your interests second.

Striving for more in live

Wanting more in life does not make you ungrateful or spoiled; it makes you ambitious. It means you have goals and dreams, and want to fulfill them while you still can. It means you don’t settle for less than you know you’re capable of. Others might view you as just an unrealistic dreamer who will never truly find happiness, but it doesn’t matter what others think in the end.

You can express gratitude about what you’ve been blessed with while still aspiring for more in life, so don’t ever feel bad about having big dreams. Go after them with all your heart, and the universe will surprise you in ways you never imagined.

Challenging the mainstream

Others like to nitpick every aspect about people’s lives in today’s world, so much so that people actually feel guilty about how they choose to live. Just live in your truth and don’t mind what others say; remember, if anyone feels threatened by how you live your life, they might actually be jealous of you. Sometimes, people feel so uncomfortable and dissatisfied with their own lives that they must bash others in order to make themselves feel better.

If you want to homeschool your children, live off-the-grid, eat only from your own garden, let food be your medicine, and teach your children peace and love instead of what’s on television, don’t apologize. Everyone deserves to live the life they want without feeling remorseful for simply following their hearts.

Following your dreams

Kết quả hình ảnh cho follow your dream

Wanting more in life does not make you ungrateful or spoiled; it makes you ambitious. It means you have goals and dreams, and want to fulfill them while you still can. It means you don’t settle for less than you know you’re capable of. Others might view you as just an unrealistic dreamer who will never truly find happiness, but it doesn’t matter what others think in the end.

You can express gratitude about what you’ve been blessed with while still aspiring for more in life, so don’t ever feel bad about having big dreams. Go after them with all your heart, and the universe will surprise you in ways you never imagined.

Not Responding Immediately to a Text, Call, or Email

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We can’t always get back to a friend, loved one, or colleague immediately. Unless there’s an emergency (and usually you can tell), apologizing for taking more than a split second to reply can make an issue out of something that might not have been a big deal to begin with, Flagg says. Plus, it may send the message that our own agendas are less important than those we’re responding to. (Not true and not cool.)

To avoid caving when too many people want to hear back from you this instant, Flagg recommends a brief acknowledgment of the inquiry, coupled with a heads-up about what’s on your plate. Something like “I haven’t forgotten about you, I’m just a bit slammed here at work” or “I’m still working on getting you an answer, so hang tight!” works great. People appreciate the confirmation that you’re aware of their needs, Flagg says. Just don’t ever forget that you have needs too.

How you earn money

As long as you feel emotionally and mentally satisfied with your job, then don’t ever say “I’m sorry” for it. No matter if you make billions or hundreds a year, the dollar amount doesn’t matter if you don’t feel happy with your vocation. Anything that makes you feel fulfilled while also helping you to keep food on the table is enough, so don’t let anyone let you feel like it isn’t.

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