Like most interactions between men and women in the context of a relationship there are a certain set of expectations that a woman and men just don’t realise the importance of these little things they should be doing. The first night is almost a foundation stone for a healthy relationship, so making it special is worth the effort. There are a host of mistakes that can be made on the first night together, but with these tips you’ll steer clear of that embarrassment.
Remember you should be comfortable. Not too comfortable to the point where you just don’t care about anything but comfortable enough to be able to be yourself. In a safe space, where you can express yourself freely without the feeling like you’re being judged.
It’s crucial that you realise a yes earlier might not be a yes on the night too. Especially, if it’s the first time for either of you, give each other that time and space to make that decision. Don’t pressurize or blame yourself. Sometimes, a no from the other person has nothing to do with you. It is just that they are not ready.
It’s important that you are truly in the moment. That is when you’re capable of experiencing true joy. Connect with yourself and your partner. Talk about what you expect, what you like about them, any reservations that you have. Try to accommodate your partner by actively listening to him, and providing reassurance where necessary.
As human beings, we connect through experiences and by sharing our pain. Let that true connection form by talking about your fears, insecurities, desires, until you feel in sync with each other’s emotions.
The world is a busy place, and with the advent of cell phones, we’re addicted to a 24-hour constantly updating dashboard of other’s lives. So, at times, it might even feel strange to cut it all out for a night but that’s what will ensure that you focus on each other and nobody or nothing else.
Sounds almost strange but your physiology determines your psychology, and this is true for everything. Even on your night together. It’s nothing short of meditating where you truly must feel in contact with your own body. The best way to do it is through breathing. Try to take deep breathes and sync your breathing with your partner.
It’s important that you’re relaxed and you make the other person comfortable and feel at home too. Unwind with a drink or maybe a dance.
Things are never pleasant when they are rushed. It doesn’t matter if it’s your essay, the new recipe you were trying or your big night. Rushing things will leave you unable to enjoy and appreciate the little things.
Additionally, try to keep the morning after and the night before free. So that you can spend time together without the pressure of making it to somewhere else the next morning.
It’s important you dress up in clothes that make you feel confident and that you feel incredibly amazing in. Show your partner that you’ve put in effort to try and please them. This is an area you can freely experiment with to bring out your preferences in clothing.
Everybody feels more confident after validation. Speak up if you like the shirt on them or if you like it gone.
When you bring in expectations, the reality almost never matches the dream. If you had pre-set expectations, you would lose perspective of the little things your partner is trying to do. It would also mean that you hold yourself accountable to meet a bench mark too. All this would do is create unnecessary tension, self-doubt and nervousness.
Nothing comes out perfect the first time. You might even make a goof out of yourself several times. Instead of getting conscious, nervous and sabotaging yourself, just laugh it often. People who can laugh at themselves are perceived as more confident.
You haven’t been awarded with a medal so don’t brag about it. You shared a private, intimate moment.
It’s your moment to look back on and cherish. Do not offend your partner by involving a third person and offering them a piece of your cake without permission.
It’s fine if it wasn’t so perfect. Learn to embrace the imperfection. Imperfection makes us real. It makes us human. It gives us our unique quirks. Probably the other person did not even notice.
Take this time to watch a movie, grab some dinner, maybe just Netflix and chill. Do an activity that helps you bond and set an exciting tone for the night. Be adventurous. During adventurous activities, our bodies release adrenaline that generates the feeling of being excited or nervous.